5 Love Languages

One of the gals I talk to on twitter pretty recently married her boyfriend/fiance of almost 4 years (if my memory serve me correctly). First off lets give them a round of applause for being role models of courtship, in today's world people get married like its nothing and barely date beforehand! Anyways, her aunt recommended this book to them just before they were to be wed. She tweeted about how excited she was to get into it after looking at the website.

I am secretly and avidly curious about anthropology and LOVE reading books on the human condition, relationships and how we as humans develop while growing up!

Hubby bought me a brand spanking new iPad as an early birthday present last week. The screen is huge! I did some comparisons on which app I would like best and decided to go with the Kindle app from Amazon. (They have a wonderful selection of books and you don't even have to have an e-reader or tablet! You can read their books straight from your computer or smartphone)

Finally, curiosity got the best of me after following Emily's tweets about this amazing book! I went to go check it out on Amazon, and this is what I found...

The 5 Love Languages/Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married Set 

His two most influential books for the price of one! When you follow the link it will take you to the Amazon page! You can download it for your e-reader, phone, or computer, and put it on any device you want. 

Why I love this book

1. It's an easy read  most "anthropology" books can be confusing and really technical! These are written so anybody can understand them.
2. You instantly click with the book  The first two chapters prepare you for the rest of the book, but once you finish the first page, you're hooked. The way Gary presents the 5 Love Languages is so stinking easy to understand and relate you, you just can't put it down.
3. He doesn't lecture you Through the whole book, not once does he say its your fault that you're not speaking your partners love language! This book will not make you feel like crap. It is a tool to be used to benefit your relationship! Everyone was raised differently and has different expectations for what a relationship is like. This book shows you how to see eye to eye with your partner so that everybody's "love tank" is full

Have you read a book recently on love, relationships or marriage that has radically influenced you? I'd love to take a peek at it!

Have you read this book? What are your thoughts on the 5 Love Languages?

Victoria || Marine Wifey

Marriage: The Base Process

If you missed Part 1 of this series Click Here to view it!

     You're officially a Mrs, and now comes the time to alter all the records on base. Keep the packet of personal information I mentioned in Part 1 with you for this section too! Make sure you have:

• Certified copy of marriage license**
• Yours & your Husbands Photo I.D. (Passport, Drivers License, Military I.D)
• Yours & your Husbands social security cards
• Yours & your Husbands birth certificates
• More patience
  
• An address to put on file
• At least 44oz of coffee or more, Part 2 entails lots of waiting :]

     I would suggest bringing ANY and ALL copies of the listed paperwork that you have, old and new, this way they can't throw a fit saying you brought the wrong stuff and you have to start all over!

** The Certified copy of your marriage license is different from the paper copy you received the day you were married. Some states give it to you instantly, some mail it to you, some states you have to go back to the court house and get it. MOST states will give you a free copy if you show your husbands Military I.D. otherwise it may cost $$. We purchased one extra copy at the time, because if you have to order one after the fact it could take 6-8 weeks, just in case.**

Long name, long hours, long lines, YUCK.

     This is mostly to do with your husband, it's where he changes his status with his branch, letting them know he now has a dependent, and will be moving out of the Barracks (generally.) When this is done:

Entitles you to Base Allowance for Housing (BAH)

• "U.S. based allowance allotted according to geographic duty location, pay grade, and dependency status. It provides Service members equitable housing compensation based on housing costs in local civilian housing markets within the United States when government quarters are not provided."
• Click Here for more information and a BAH estimator from the DoD website.

Revokes his entitlement to Basic Allowance for Sustenance (BAS)

• BAS is the allowance allotted according to geographic duty location, and local food prices for Service members that claim no dependents. This is the money that was automatically put on his meal card while he was living in the barracks. This money is provided in place of BAH to offset the cost of food for Service members. 
• Click Here for more information on BAS from Military.com

Changes his tax information, stating that he is married

• changing your tax information is different, don't forget!

     This is one of the easier areas, it's fairly straight forward. They will ask for your personal information, to put in the system, take your picture and then print out your I.D. Card. Make sure you look good! Remember its a black and white picture generally so go easy on the make up but look fresh. The lighting (at least when I went) was basically a bare light bulb at an odd angle for your face. It accentuated the bags under my eyes and my hair looked horrendous because I was in need of a root re-touch. I was deathly sick when I went to get my I.D. picture taken but I couldn't go to the Hospital until I was enrolled in TRICARE, which requires the benefit number on the back of your I.D. card. Q.E.D. I look like a monster in my I.D. picture, my face is even a little swollen. Ew. I hate showing the card to anybody, and hubby makes fun of me for it, its worse than my drivers license.  I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE LIKE ME!!! As a previous Makeup Artist (and a fellow MilSO) I would sugguest:

• Natural looking makeup
• Simple eye shadow, maybe even just a bold liner with accented lashes
• a.k.a not blue, a heavy smoky eye, or eyeliner everywhere
• Nude (NOT PALE lips)
• No lip gloss or shine, it reflects weird
• Light blush and Bronzer accordingly
• This will contour your face so it doesn't look washed out and flat

I can produce a video or picture tutorial for what this would look like, and how to achieve it, if you are interested just let me know through email or through a comment on this post.

     Our Tricare Enrollment Center was in the same building as the I.D. card center so we just went there right after, they will ask a few questions, for an address etc. Then you're done! Your DoD Benefit number is on the back of your I.D. card, you will need it to sign up for an online account with Tricare.


     Tricare Prime is a different program from the standard Tricare you will be signed up for. Added benefits, lower or no copays and is definitely something worth looking into. I will expand on this in another post because its alot to explain, there is lots of information online and you can always call the Tricare Information Line for more information


My husband is a Marine, if your husband is in a different branch and their process is different, please let me know! I would like these articles to be helpful for everybody, not just Marine Milsos!

**DISCLAIMER** Please remember that everything I post is based off of my experiences, research and opinions. The information is liable to change at anytime, as is this policy. If you have anything you would like to add or if you have had a different experience that you think should be added to a post, including if there are different protocols for different branches, please feel free to contact me at wifeyofamarine@gmail.com or through my contact page.

Marriage: The Civillian Process

     Congratulations, he popped the question and you're about to walk down the aisle and come away with your "Mrs." Degree! Wedding planning can be fun, stressful and expensive, but what about all the official stuff?

• Where do you get a marriage license?
• What do you need to bring to the courthouse/ceremony?
• What information does your husband need to update on base?
• How do you change your name?
• What paperwork do I need for all this?
•  Do my fiancee and I have to do all this together?

There's a million questions to ask and then there's a few variables like: What are the state specific laws? What branch specific things does your husband have to change?

     You're going to need documentation for almost everything listed above. I decided to get a giant folder to keep it all in, it seems like a lot at first but if you have all this in one place it makes things a TON easier. (Just don't lose it!!)

• Yours & your fiancees birth certificates
• Yours & your fiancees social security cards
• Yours & your fiancees Photo I.D. (Passport, Drivers License, Military I.D)
• Patience
• Rings
• Probably a large cup of coffee , I know I needed one

 

      In order to make your marriage a legal union, you need a marriage license. Now every state is different on how to obtain one and how long they're valid for. Hubby and I are from Washington State but we decided to be married in California so everything I knew about marriage licenses was basically useless.  Most states have it on their Department of Licensing website which you can find through google.com. The one thing I found that they don't always put on the website is whether or not you need an appointment. CALL AHEAD! You may spend 40 minutes on hold but if that saves you time in the long run, you're better off.
      For Example, Hubby and I wanted to get married in San Diego County but when I called they said that they couldn't get us in for almost two weeks and would be almost $200. We put our names down just in case but we were running out of time (because he was deploying) and we wanted to make sure we had enough time to get all the paperwork on base settled. I called Los Angeles County, which is just 30 minutes north and lo and behold they don't have wait times, its first come first serve and altogether would cost less than $80. So just by a simple phone call we save $120 and a week and a half of waiting. DO YOUR RESEARCH! We drove up on a Tuesday after noon with all our paperwork, a witness, and some cash and Tah-dah, I'm now a Marine Wifey!

        But unfortunately the paperwork doesn't stop there...

     So you're officially a Mrs. but with your maiden name. Now again every state may be different, in California when we applied and received our Marriage License I had to tell them I wanted to take on my Hubby's last name. Then I had to go to the Social Security Administration AFTER I had an official copy of our Marriage License (which took 7 business days) this part was fairly painless other than a mix up with my birth certificate, but hopefully you don't have to deal with that.

    Now you've finished everything that you can off base, once you get your new Social Security Card and change your Drivers License or I.D. you can start changing your Credit and Debit cards, loans, and any other financial or consumer memberships you have.

To Skip to part 2 of this post "The Base Process" Click Here!

Part 2 - All about Base will be posted sometime this week to help you with all the base changes you and your husband will need to make.


**DISCLAIMER** Please remember that everything I post is based off of my experiences, research and opinions. The information is liable to change at anytime, as is this policy. If you have anything you would like to add or if you have had a different experience that you think should be added to a post please feel free to contact me at wifeyofamarine@gmail.com or through my contact page.